Concealed Emotions
by Julian Amsel
Summary: Um. I was half asleep when I wrote this one. But anyway.. Tai has feelings for someone. Can he get up the courage to tell them?


"Concealed Emotions" 

Note: This is a bit odder than most of my fanfics, so.. well, just read it, then examine the notes at the   
bottom before you jump to conclusions. 

Tai sighed as he sat on the banks of a stream, watching the waters tumble and gurgle over the   
brightly coloured stones which littered the bottom. The sky of the Digital World was like a bright   
blue eggshell overhead, with not so much as a cloud to intrude on it.   
Things had been weird lately. Of course, if you considered the fact that he and his friends were   
stuck in the Digital World with no means of returning, normal things just didn't seem weird any more.   
But this..   
He'd been uncertain lately. Distracted. Something was bothering him. Something important. He   
knew that the others knew it, too. And it scared them.   
But if they knew WHAT was causing him so much trouble... Tai shoved his feelings aside, trying to   
bury them deep in the back of his mind. Can't let things bother me, he thought. I've got to be tough.   
I've got to be the leader. They're all depending on me. 

"Tai?"   
Tai jerked his head up in surprise. "Agumon!" he said with a grin, turning to look at his Digimon   
friend, who resembled a small orange tyrannosaurus. "You scared me."   
"Sorry about that," Agumon said, sitting down. He looked at Tai closely, squinting one eye in   
thought. He looks the same as always, he thought. Same calm expression. Same laughing brown   
eyes. Same hair that looks like he uses ten bottles of gel to keep it sticking up like that, even though   
he doesn't use any at all. And yet.. there was something different. And yet....   
"Tai." Agumon said slowly, hoping his friend wouldn't take offense. "I know somethings bothering   
you."   
Tai stared at him, worry flickering in his eyes for a brief moment before his expression returned to   
normal, quickly yet stiffly, as if he had forced his expression to mold itself back.   
"You know? It shows that much?"   
"Oh, no," Agumon said cautiously, shaking his head. "It's just that... well, we're close friends, you   
know? I can tell when there's something wrong."   
"I.. see."   
The Digimon shifted uncomfortably, wondering what was going on. "Would you mind telling me   
what's up? Maybe I can help you sort things out."   
Tai lowered his head and turned his gaze back to the water. He was silent, and for once, Agumon   
could smell fear within his friend.   
"I-" Agumon began.   
"Agumon," Tai said, eyes darkening slightly. His voice had a cold edge to it, and when he spoke it   
was obvious that he was doing it with a great deal of effort. "I know you're my friend. You'll always   
be. But.. I can't tell you what's wrong, just this once. It's not for you to know. There's only one   
person-" He seemed to choke on the words for a split second, but he managed to continue. "Only   
one person that I will ever tell, and... it's not you."   
Agumon nodded, brows furrowed with slight confusion. "I understand." he said, though he actually   
didn't have a clue what his friend was talking about.   
"Thanks, Agumon. You're the greatest," Tai whispered, smiling slightly.   
"I better be going," said Agumon, spotting Gomamon and Palmon calling to him to come join some   
game or other. "See ya, Tai."   
"Yeah. See ya." 

As he once again gazed into the cool, clear water, Tai thought about his life. It had been pretty much   
normal, until they had been sucked into the Digital World. It was weird, trying to save someplace   
that you had never been to, or even heard of before. He dwelt on the thought, but as usual, his mind   
strayed to something else. Someone else, actually. Someone.. special. The only person in the world   
that he ever felt this way about.... he shook his head, wishing he could banish the ideas from his   
mind. He couldn't think about that. Wouldn't. "I can't let my feelings get in the way of things," he said   
to himself. Besides, he thought, it'd affect the group if they ever found out. And that wouldn't really   
be for the best.   
A familiar laugh reached his ears and he slowly turned his head, smiling grimly at what he saw. Sora   
lay on the grass, giggling as Matt tickled her. Tai had seen them goofing off like this before, and it   
always pained him to think that it would never be himself in such a situation.   
He glanced down at the water again, then back at his friends, unable to keep his eyes away. Then,   
slowly, he forced himself to look back at the stream. Carefully, he picked a pebble up from the sand   
and looked at it, observing the shining minerals inside it. "Concentrate." He whispered. Concentrate.   
On anything. Anything but those two... Frustrated, he flicked the pebble into the water, watching as   
it made a tiny 'splash', sending ripples bouncing off in all directions.   
"An action," Tai whispered. "So small at first, but then... look how fast it grows. But... there needs   
someone who's willing to start it."   
Swallowing hard, he looked back at Matt and Sora, who now lay on the ground gasping with   
laughter. Slowly he stood, and, pushing back some long strands of brown hair, he walked toward   
them, hoping that what he was doing was the 'right thing'.   
"Hey, Matt?" he said.   
"Yeah, Tai?" Matt replied, quickly sitting up. Somethings wrong, he though. He sounds.. nervous.   
That's not like him, to be unsure about anything.   
"I.. need to have a word with you. Alone." he said, glancing at Sora.   
"Um. Yeah.. sure thing." Matt stood, and ran after Tai, who was heading off in the direction of the   
woods. 

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Matt asked as they walked along the forest path, the   
light from above blocked by dense foliage.   
"I.."   
"Yeah?"   
"I.. need to tell you something." Tai said, the words hot in his mouth.   
Matt shrugged. "Yeah? So shoot."   
"Well... I have to know something first." Tai whispered cautiously.   
"Yeah?"   
"How do you feel about Sora?" Tai nearly choked on his words.   
Matt fell silent, his attention suddenly focused on his sneakers.   
"You really like her, don't you?" Tai said.   
"Yeah. Well.. I more than like her. I.. think I love her." Matt mumbled.   
"I thought so." Tai muttered.   
Matt arched an eyebrow, looking at him quizzically. Was that a hint of disappointment he heard in   
his voice? "You thought so?"   
"Well... it's kind of obvious..."   
"Look, Tai." Matt began, feeling defensive. "I know you wanted her for yourself. But the fact is, she   
loves me, so... just... stay out of it."   
Tai stared at him. "I... What?"   
"Hey, I can tell you like her. Any idiot would be able to tell it." Matt said coldly, clenching his fists.   
Tai went quiet. He looked at his friend, brown eyes soft. "You've got it all wrong. I don't like Sora.   
Well, not in that way, at least..." he swallowed hard, and stopped walking, leaning against a tree as if   
he desperately needed the support. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."   
Matt looked at him from across the path as he stood, back against a tree with his arms crossed. He   
didn't have to say a word. The expression on his face was enough.   
"Matt...." Tai said, breathing in deeply, and trying to speak. No sound came out, and he tried again.   
"Matt.. I'm gay." 

"So that's what you were so nervous about." Matt said, chuckling softly.   
"I don't see what's so funny." Tai replied coldly.   
"Look, man, it's no big deal. Did you think I'd think any different of you if you told me? You're still   
the same person, still the fearless leader, whether or not you're.. well, you know. It makes no   
difference, 'cause you're still the same person whether or not anyone knows, y'know?" he smiled,   
and shook his head. "Did you really think that I'd be so... I don't know what the word is."   
"Yes." Tai whispered. "I did." he shifted uncomfortably.   
"Why?"   
"Because...." he hesitated, and closed his eyes, searching for the words. It was now or never.   
Matt watched him as he gathered his thoughts together. When his friend opened his eyes again,   
there was a light in them that he had seen many times before, but only at certain times, when they   
were talking as friends, alone.   
"Matt.."   
"Yeah?"   
"It's because... I think... I think I love you."   
Matt's eyes opened wide and he began to stammer. "Wh-wh-what?"   
"Look." Tai said. "Before you can say anything.... I'd like to say that I knew you and Sora had   
feelings for each other, long before I asked you.... and, well.... I don't want my feelings to get in the   
way of our friendship." he went quiet for a moment, then continued. "Hate me for it, if you want. But   
I just felt I had to tell you. I couldn't keep it locked up inside any longer."   
Matt blinked, bewildered. "Well then. Tai.. I.. just.. I don't know what to say. I'm.. flattered...." he   
suddenly became extremely interested in his sneakers.   
"Matt... please.. don't tell anyone. I.. they.. might start to think of me differently, and.. well, I'm   
afraid the group might fall apart if that happens. And I don't want that happening because of me."   
"You've got my word." Matt whispered. "I'll never breathe a word of this to a single soul."   
It was Tai's turn to take up intense sneaker-study.   
Matt was silent, his mind swimming with thoughts.   
"Hey, Matt?" Tai said, looking up at him.   
"Yeah?"   
"I think we should go back." he said, grinning. "Sora's probably waiting for you."   
"Yeah." He smiled, and clapped his friend on the back. "Let's go." 

Author's notes: I know, I know, this one's kind of odd. And I guess I should expect bad reviews for   
this one. But I think (note: half the time, i write when i'm half asleep therefore i have no control over   
what I'm writing) that I was trying to make a point, and that point is that you can never can tell who's   
gay and who's straight, y'know? and even if you could, it wouldn't matter, 'cause people are the   
same no matter what they are and no matter who knows it. I'm probably going to edit this more later   
and re-upload it, but until then, i'll just leave it as is.   
And no, I don't really think Tai is gay. I just thought I'd use him for this one, 'cause.. um.. well, I   
have my own reasons. 


End file.
